Dear Justin Tomlinson
I noted with interest that during the ESA & PIP debate at Westminster on 30th November that you urged Ministers to observe an assessment which you feel are an "opportunity" for people to get help.
My experience was not that, however I do have to say that I was treated with as much dignity and respect as possible by the assessors who had to subject me to the grilling that these assessments dictate,
However - I write this letter to you as an open invitation to attend my next assessment with me.
But before you do so I would ask that you would take some time to come and walk in my family's shoes on a bad day - so that we are not complete strangers.......
I would ask that you come and take my children age 8 and 11 to school and explain to them why their Mum who loves them dearly cannot physically get herself out of bed to take them. That would allow my husband to return to some sort of normality with his work life which pays our mortgage and bills currently whilst I am not well enough to work. You could then spend an hour with my husband and listen to how caring for me is impacting upon him and his health and well-being.
I would ask that you come and wipe away the tears that I cry because I spend from 9am-3pm wishing the kids were safe at home with me rather than at school where I am convinced something bad is going to happen to them - and then 3pm-9pm wishing they would go to bed because I am such a wreck that I can't cook them dinner, do their homework or even muster up the energy to converse with them. Come wipe away my 8 year old's tears when he asks me if I am going to die and leave him and all I can do is cry in response.
It would be helpful if you could come and cook for the boys and my husband as I am currently unable to as the very smell of food makes me want to vomit and the medication that I am on to treat my anxiety and depression makes me unsafe in the kitchen.
I would ask that you come and hold my hair whilst I vomit bile from an empty stomach every morning due to the anxiety of having to face another day, quickly followed by the other end evacuating itself due to my IBS/IBD. (Sorry - bit graphic but welcome to my world)
Come and sit with me as I lie on the couch with my car keys in my hand watching the clock for the next train that is due to pass the railway line that I could drive my car onto to end this pain that I feel like I cannot bear for a minute longer. Help me to stay strong enough to realize that this is not the answer.
Come help me argue every minute of the day and night with the voice in my head that tells me I am a waste of space and that everyone would be better off if I'm dead. Remind me that I WILL get better.
Then I am sure you would be a fantastic help with filling out the forms for DWP, Come help me as I have to put down on paper my worst days and nights. Remind me that what I see in-front of me in black and white is an illness - its not me because right now I feel like I am nothing but my illness.
As one of the Ministers so rightly pointed out - this is NOT a spectator sport. We are being asked to pour our hearts and lives out to a complete stranger whilst we are deeply unwell, and in my case TWICE within 8 weeks. But......my invitation still stands.
I look forward to hearing from you
A Tired and Frustrated Benefits Claimant
Thursday, 1 December 2016
Sunday, 30 October 2016
The Benefits System That Prevents Me Recovering...
Dear Nicola Sturgeon, DWP & anyone else who can maybe help
I am writing this because today I am having a bad day. And the main reason I am having a bad day is
because I feel hopeless. You see, I am
currently recovering from a very difficult period of anxiety, depression and
panic. (I also live with various other long term health conditions – but they
were not taken into account during my recent assessment with yourselves)
When I say very difficult, let me explain that that actually
means life threatening. Yes – I know
those are normally words that you hear attached to illnesses such as cancer or
heart disease, but let me tell you – mental illness is like cancer of the brain
and the heart all rolled into one.
Mental illness made me believe that my two young children
aged 8 and 11 would be better off without me in their life.
Mental illness made me believe that I am useless and
worthless and that I have no skills worth sharing with the world.
Mental illness made me believe that my close friends and
family were ashamed of me because of my illness – for being so weak and
useless.
So yes my mental illness was life threatening.
I am trying to recover, and have been for the last 10 months
from the day that I feel like I fell off the planet. For 7 of those months I have been awarded
Personal Independence Payment which I have never claimed before regardless of
living with many long term health conditions. And for the last 4 months I have
been receiving Employment Support Allowance.
Contrary to popular belief and what the media likes to portray – I do
not want to be on benefits for the rest of my life. I want to get back to work and I want to get
back to being able to effectively self-manage my health.
I want to get back to being the passionate, driven and
innovative person than many people know me to be and that I know is hiding
within me underneath all this self-hatred and self-doubt. I’m not going to give you my full CV here but
let’s just say I have done some damn good work in this country in the field of
mental health, which has been recognised at both national and international
level. And I want to get back to it –
but I’m stuck – you have me stuck right here being unwell – afraid to move
forward!!
And the reason I am having such a bad day is because I feel
completely stuck and in limbo. You see –
if I start to recover then the likelihood is that you will remove my
benefits. And if you remove my benefits
too soon whilst I am undertaking this absolutely vital recovery process then I
know that I have a high chance of ending back up in the desperate dark place
that I have fought so hard for the last 10 months to crawl out of. You see – just like recovery from cancer,
recovery from mental illness takes time.
For me it also means taking risks – facing my fears,
challenging my false beliefs.
Challenging the voices in my head that tell me that I’m a useless piece
of crap. Challenging the voices that
tell me that my family would be better off without me. And let me tell you - this is like running a
mental marathon every single day inside my own head.
Thankfully – like any recovery process things get easier as
time goes on, but that does not mean I am recovered. It means that I am recovering – and if you
pull the rug from under my feet then I assure you I am most likely to
fall.
So what do I do??? Do
I push myself to take risks which I know is the only way that I will move
forward – but risk losing my benefits or do I stay stuck where I am; wanting to
be well and effectively self-manage my health & well-being but unable to
for the fear of losing the benefits that can help me to get there.
Any advice would be gratefully received. I don't even know why I'm doing this.... putting my head above the parapit, but I guess in some small way I hope that my experiences will help change things in the future........
Yours sincerely
A distressed and frustrated benefits claimant
Sunday, 9 October 2016
DWP - The hand that feeds you - or oppresses you.....
It’s been a while since I have blogged. It has taken me
about 3 weeks to complete this blog. For those of you who know me, you
will understand how bloody frustrating this is for me. Writing/blogging
is one of the things that I can usually do without giving it a second thought.
But sadly my mind hasn’t quite been my own for the last 10 months, as I
have been visited again by my old friend depression – who this time has a
sidekick, namely crippling anxiety.
Yip – in December 2015 I fell, and I fell hard. I fell so
hard that I felt as though I had shattered into lots of pieces. I’m still
in the process of picking up the pieces and trying to get back together – albeit
a different version of me. A healthier, wiser version!
For those of you who don’t know me, let me give you a short background.
I have worked in the mental-health field for the last 10 years. I
have worked in a variety of roles and settings, and most recently I founded and
developed the amazing charity Hope Cafe Lanarkshire. I have received
awards at Parliament for my work in promoting positive mental health and
self-management. I have worked since I was 15 years old, and reckon that
up until this episode I have probably had a maximum of 10 weeks off work in my
whole working life (6 of those being after I had major surgery).
Why am I telling you this? Because recently I have had to
apply for benefits. I have applied for – and successfully been awarded – both
PIP and ESA. I had a good idea of how difficult a process it is to claim
these benefits for mental illness from the previous work that I was involved
in, but nothing prepared me for the actual reality of it. Let’s just say
that it was one of the most humiliating and upsetting experiences I have ever
had to encounter. The benefits system is so focused on what is wrong with
you. I was advised right from the outset that everything had to be based
upon my worst day: though to be honest, for the first 8-9 months of my illness,
6 out of 7 days were like this.
So fast-forward: it’s been approximately 2 months since I was
awarded ESA and placed in the “support” group. This was a massive relief
to me, as at this stage of my recovery I know that I could not cope with
enforced work-related activity. However, I 100% plan to return to work
when I am ready. I look forward to the day that I can return to doing
what I love, and I know that I will – when the time is right. But for
now I am very aware that I need to invest time in my recovery.
Two of my biggest stumbling blocks have been lack of structure to
my day, and social anxiety. Discussions with my circle of support, which
include my GP and Psychologist, helped me to identify that volunteering might be
a good move to get me some structure back. I am more than aware of the
benefits of volunteering to aid recovery, so with my family we looked at what I
could possibly do. On a rare day out, we stumbled across a Guide Dogs For
The Blind stall and heard they were looking for people to foster puppies.
The more we looked into it, the more we realised that it would be a
really good way for me gently to start to re-engage with day-to-day life.
So here I am, actively trying to further my recovery. Pushing
myself out of my current uncomfortable-yet-comfortable zone. But – and it’s
a BIG but – the benefits system tells me it wants me to get better … but will
“punish” me for doing so. I know from the experience of many of my peers
that the minute you are seen to be able to move forward in your recovery – i.e.
advise the DWP that you are volunteering – the likelihood is that your benefits
will be re-assessed and reduced or stopped. I cannot begin to think about
having to go through the assessment process again – so my only option is to
stay ill. They don’t seem to understand that you cannot go from unwell to
well without the process of recovery in the middle. This process,
especially for people living with mental illness, means slowly starting to
re-engage with life again. For me this means re-connecting with the world;
engaging in simple day-to-day activities like shopping and socialising.
But by doing so I am terrified that the benefits that I have had to fight
so hard to get will be stopped, because I will be seen as no longer ill enough.
This is utter madness.
So here I am, afraid to tell the DWP that I am volunteering.
This needs to change. I am not up to launching a full-blown
campaign here, but I am writing this blog in the hope that someone who has some
power realises how absurd our current benefits system is. It does not
support recovery – it hinders it.
Some may say “don’t bite the hand that feeds you”. However, this
hand may be feeding me but it is not nourishing me. It is holding me
back, keeping me down. Surely this is madness?
I want to get well. I want to get back to work. But this process
of recovery will take me time and effort, and I need to feel supported by the system
to enable me to do so. Right now I don’t. I feel anxious and afraid
of recovering, for fear that I will lose my benefits.
Wednesday, 3 June 2015
Hope Cafe - Small but Fiesty
Hope Cafe is a small project set in rural Clydesdale - so it was literally astounding for me today to hear how we have made such a significant impact on the mental health and recovery movement/ agenda here in Scotland.
For the last 2 days I have been participating in the Scottish Recovery Network/See Me Scotland Rights For Life National Conference.
I am absolutely blown away by the enthusiasm in the room about our (what I thought was) wee project The Hope Cafe.
Hope Cafe is a perfect example of a project that has grown naturally from a need and a want right at the roots of a local community.
It was NOT created in response to some strategy at government level or even a policy at local level. It was not designed by "professionals". It was designed and created by people in the community who knew what would have helped them at a time they were struggling with their mental health.
Hope Cafe is not a rich, well funded project. It is a project that runs on a shoestring budget and the passion and determination of its staff and volunteers. But it is a project that regardless of the many barriers it has faced in terms of location, lack of funding, lack of understanding - has against all odds managed to flourish on what was not necessarily fertile ground when we first started out.
Anyone who heard me talk about our project at the conference would have heard me speak quite openly about the many challenges we faced in the beginning as a peer led project. We were met by many closed doors, much ignorance and mis-understanding and some downright nastiness if I'm quite honest.
But - here we are being looked upon as a great example of recovery focused peer led practice in Scotland. How have we managed it??
If I'm 100% honest I'm not quite sure. In theory it should all have gone bottoms up when we tentatively stepped out in our small community speaking so openly about mental health. But it didn't - and that gives me great hope. It shows me that things are changing - and change is good.
I wanted to try and give you my tips for helping positive change to happen - so here we go:
1. Be hopeful
2. You don't need a lot of money to make a lot of difference
3. Activism does not need to be about battering down doors, insulting "them" and demanding change
4. There is no "them and us", we are them and they are us
5. Quiet, confident persistence works - if you know you have a good idea stick with it
6. You are stronger than you think you are, when you feel like giving up - rest & re-fresh & go back
7. Never give up on something you believe in
8. Utilise the strengths of those around you - many people have hidden talents waiting to be found
9. Surround yourself with positive sources of inspiration
10. Don't get bogged down with what's not working - focus on what is working
11. Be realistic but optimistic
12. Get a WRAP plan to help you maintain your wellness
13. Be more hopeful
What this conference has really made me reflect on most is number 4 - There is no "them and us"
At the end of today I stood and shook hands with the Mental Health & Well-Being "bigwig" for my NHS area. 2 years ago I truly saw him as the key to the destiny of Hope Cafe. I thought he was the guy that could make Hope Cafe happen and was very disappointed (maybe even angry) when he didn't at that time appear to have the same passion for it as me.
I thought we needed him but now I realise we didn't need him - but we wanted him on board because he is a good guy. And I think I now realise that because he is a good guy - he let us figure it out for ourselves.
Now as we stand recognised as a fantastic example of good practice - we want him to be a part of helping us to continue to develop what is a fantastic project.
Im pleased to say that over the last 2 years he has supported us (not always agreed with us - or us with him!!) and encouraged us - often very subtly. He has enabled us to grow into our own skin. We have agreed to disagree and that's ok because ultimately what we both realised was that we want the same things - just from different angles. But the door has always been open and we have always been treated as a respected partner - an equal.
ultimately what we all want is a community that encourages, enables and supports recovery. And I am very pleased to say that we seem to be on the right track.
I guess what I took away from today was something that was said at the start of the day "We don't want to build walls - we want to build bridges"
For the last 2 days I have been participating in the Scottish Recovery Network/See Me Scotland Rights For Life National Conference.
I am absolutely blown away by the enthusiasm in the room about our (what I thought was) wee project The Hope Cafe.
Hope Cafe is a perfect example of a project that has grown naturally from a need and a want right at the roots of a local community.
It was NOT created in response to some strategy at government level or even a policy at local level. It was not designed by "professionals". It was designed and created by people in the community who knew what would have helped them at a time they were struggling with their mental health.
Hope Cafe is not a rich, well funded project. It is a project that runs on a shoestring budget and the passion and determination of its staff and volunteers. But it is a project that regardless of the many barriers it has faced in terms of location, lack of funding, lack of understanding - has against all odds managed to flourish on what was not necessarily fertile ground when we first started out.
Anyone who heard me talk about our project at the conference would have heard me speak quite openly about the many challenges we faced in the beginning as a peer led project. We were met by many closed doors, much ignorance and mis-understanding and some downright nastiness if I'm quite honest.
But - here we are being looked upon as a great example of recovery focused peer led practice in Scotland. How have we managed it??
If I'm 100% honest I'm not quite sure. In theory it should all have gone bottoms up when we tentatively stepped out in our small community speaking so openly about mental health. But it didn't - and that gives me great hope. It shows me that things are changing - and change is good.
I wanted to try and give you my tips for helping positive change to happen - so here we go:
1. Be hopeful
2. You don't need a lot of money to make a lot of difference
3. Activism does not need to be about battering down doors, insulting "them" and demanding change
4. There is no "them and us", we are them and they are us
5. Quiet, confident persistence works - if you know you have a good idea stick with it
6. You are stronger than you think you are, when you feel like giving up - rest & re-fresh & go back
7. Never give up on something you believe in
8. Utilise the strengths of those around you - many people have hidden talents waiting to be found
9. Surround yourself with positive sources of inspiration
10. Don't get bogged down with what's not working - focus on what is working
11. Be realistic but optimistic
12. Get a WRAP plan to help you maintain your wellness
13. Be more hopeful
What this conference has really made me reflect on most is number 4 - There is no "them and us"
At the end of today I stood and shook hands with the Mental Health & Well-Being "bigwig" for my NHS area. 2 years ago I truly saw him as the key to the destiny of Hope Cafe. I thought he was the guy that could make Hope Cafe happen and was very disappointed (maybe even angry) when he didn't at that time appear to have the same passion for it as me.
I thought we needed him but now I realise we didn't need him - but we wanted him on board because he is a good guy. And I think I now realise that because he is a good guy - he let us figure it out for ourselves.
Now as we stand recognised as a fantastic example of good practice - we want him to be a part of helping us to continue to develop what is a fantastic project.
Im pleased to say that over the last 2 years he has supported us (not always agreed with us - or us with him!!) and encouraged us - often very subtly. He has enabled us to grow into our own skin. We have agreed to disagree and that's ok because ultimately what we both realised was that we want the same things - just from different angles. But the door has always been open and we have always been treated as a respected partner - an equal.
ultimately what we all want is a community that encourages, enables and supports recovery. And I am very pleased to say that we seem to be on the right track.
I guess what I took away from today was something that was said at the start of the day "We don't want to build walls - we want to build bridges"
Saturday, 14 February 2015
11 years being angry at myself when it really wasn't my fault...
This week I took a big step and viewed my medical notes from my time spent as an in-patient in psychiatric wards. I always knew that it would be a challenging thing to do - but I felt the time was right.
They made interesting reading. That time of my life has always been a bit blurry to say the least. I was unsure of how long I spent in hospital etc. Its not something that has ever been spoken openly about in my family. For many years I carried a huge amount of embarrassment about this time in my life. I often wondered if I could have done more to prevent what happened, if I could have taken more personal responsibility etc , From reading my notes I can finally say in all honesty that what was very very clear was that I was very mentally unwell, and that people were not listening to what I was telling them. I am so fortunate that I finally found an excellent GP who pieced together all the bots of information that led to my diagnosis and treatment for PMDD.
Here is a brief rundown of events:
6 months of continuous decline in mood following a hormonal injection (trigger) - no suicidal thoughts
Given Fluoxetine by GP, after 5 days I was taken to A & E by my family as I was extremely distressed and expressing suicidal thoughts and intent. Had written notes etc
Admitted, questioned about marriage/stress levels etc and given diazepam and told to reduce stress levels
Discharged 2 days later on a higher dose of Fluoxetine with no follow up planned except GP
2 days later admitted to hospital after a "serious attempt at own life"
Medically treated and discharged back to GP with referral to CPN - anything up to 16 weeks to see....
Still on Fluoxetine....
Thankfully my GP saw the red flag that everyone else seemed to have missed and immediately changed my drug therapy to venlafaxine.
Amongst other things that disturbed me was some of the language used in my medical notes. I experienced huge self-stigma over the years and I wonder how helpful this conversation must have been to me...
Nurse "on discussing this today (suicide attempt) Donna realises this was a foolish thing to do"
But I am glad that I have read them. It has helped me to piece together a sequence of events that I can now process, make sense of and let go.
I am so thankful that my attempt failed and so thankful that I can now make a difference to others.
Onwards & upwards - to infinity and beyond :)
They made interesting reading. That time of my life has always been a bit blurry to say the least. I was unsure of how long I spent in hospital etc. Its not something that has ever been spoken openly about in my family. For many years I carried a huge amount of embarrassment about this time in my life. I often wondered if I could have done more to prevent what happened, if I could have taken more personal responsibility etc , From reading my notes I can finally say in all honesty that what was very very clear was that I was very mentally unwell, and that people were not listening to what I was telling them. I am so fortunate that I finally found an excellent GP who pieced together all the bots of information that led to my diagnosis and treatment for PMDD.
Here is a brief rundown of events:
6 months of continuous decline in mood following a hormonal injection (trigger) - no suicidal thoughts
Given Fluoxetine by GP, after 5 days I was taken to A & E by my family as I was extremely distressed and expressing suicidal thoughts and intent. Had written notes etc
Admitted, questioned about marriage/stress levels etc and given diazepam and told to reduce stress levels
Discharged 2 days later on a higher dose of Fluoxetine with no follow up planned except GP
2 days later admitted to hospital after a "serious attempt at own life"
Medically treated and discharged back to GP with referral to CPN - anything up to 16 weeks to see....
Still on Fluoxetine....
Thankfully my GP saw the red flag that everyone else seemed to have missed and immediately changed my drug therapy to venlafaxine.
Amongst other things that disturbed me was some of the language used in my medical notes. I experienced huge self-stigma over the years and I wonder how helpful this conversation must have been to me...
Nurse "on discussing this today (suicide attempt) Donna realises this was a foolish thing to do"
But I am glad that I have read them. It has helped me to piece together a sequence of events that I can now process, make sense of and let go.
I am so thankful that my attempt failed and so thankful that I can now make a difference to others.
Onwards & upwards - to infinity and beyond :)
Monday, 9 February 2015
When you Wish Upon a Star (And you have the passion that lived experience brings...)
Tonight I worked alongside 3 volunteers from Hope Cafe as we worked hard to get the cafe ready for opening. I cannot even begin to describe what it feels like to have achieved this dream. So so so many years of thinking "you can't, you shouldn't, you won't, you will fail" have finally turned into "I can, I will and now I have!!"
In the words of Jiminy Cricket (many fond memories of watching this with my beloved Nana)
Enjoy https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jGP-1eMgzUE
In the words of Jiminy Cricket (many fond memories of watching this with my beloved Nana)
"When a star is born
They possess a gift or two
One of them is this
To make your dreams come true
They possess a gift or two
One of them is this
To make your dreams come true
When you wish upon a star
Makes no difference who you are
Anything your heart desires
Will come to you
Makes no difference who you are
Anything your heart desires
Will come to you
If your heart is in your dreams
No request is too extreme
When you wish upon that star
As dreamers do
No request is too extreme
When you wish upon that star
As dreamers do
Fate is kind
She brings to those who love
The sweet fulfillment of
Their secret longings
She brings to those who love
The sweet fulfillment of
Their secret longings
Like a bolt out of the blue
Fate steps in and sees you through
When you wish upon that star
Your dreams comes true
Fate steps in and sees you through
When you wish upon that star
Your dreams comes true
Fate is kind
She brings to those who love
The sweet fulfillment of
Their secret longings
She brings to those who love
The sweet fulfillment of
Their secret longings
Like a bolt out of the blue
Fate steps in and sees you through
When you wish upon that star
Your dreams comes true"
Fate steps in and sees you through
When you wish upon that star
Your dreams comes true"
Thank you Nana - always in my heart and dreams xxx
Enjoy https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jGP-1eMgzUE
Saturday, 17 January 2015
Social Enterprise - A New Way To Do Business
Thought I would share with you a piece I put together for high school students that I was asked to speak to about business. Writing it made me realise how very very fortunate I am to be able to run a social enterprise.
Have you ever thought about running a business that wasn't necessarily about making you rich? What if you thought about running a business that made you happy?
Is money what makes your world turn? Or is it happiness, compassion and a sense of satisfaction?
If you answered yes to the first question then social enterprise is probably not for you. However if you answered yes to the second question then it most probably is.
Social enterprise is a new way of doing business. Well,,,,I say it's a new way but I actually don't think it is. I think that its the way that business used to be done before we got so caught up in this rat race that is life. It s a way of doing business that helps your neighbour as much as it helps you. If we turn back the clock to the years where my Nana was growing up it seems to be that life was about helping others.
What has changed??
The answer is quite simply life has changed. We live in a society where its all about what you have got in your life. But is that what really matters??
At the end of the day - we ain't getting out this adventure called life alive no matter what way we look at it. And in reality the only legacy we leave in this world is two things - the balance we have in the bank and the difference we have made.
Personally I would much rather tick the second box. You see my social enterprise will never give me a big bank balance. My social enterprise wont have me rubbing shoulders with the elite in society.
But.. my social enterprise makes me rich in ways that I cannot even begin to describe.
Every single day I meet people who inspire me. People who are fighting battles, personally and professionally to make life better for those experiencing mental ill-health. These people are strong, beautiful and inspiring. They fill my heart and soul far more than any amount of money ever would.
They show me that amongst all the doom and gloom in the world - that there is hope. That people care for each other. And that people have the ability to make the difference that is needed in the world.
My social enterprise won't make me rich - but it will pay me enough to pay my bills. I'm not going to pretend it isn't hard to look around me sometimes and think "I could/should be earning more". There are days when I think - "what the hell am I doing??? Will I ever made a REAL difference in this whole mucked up world?? - what is the point in trying??" But I would have those days anyway no matter what type of business I was running.
But with a social enterprise that is balanced out by far by the positives of the job.
I know that change happens one person, one attitude at a time - so I keep going. And I am never far away from the next reminder of the difference I am making.
So please - consider a social enterprise as a way of doing business - because doing good really does you good!!
Have you ever thought about running a business that wasn't necessarily about making you rich? What if you thought about running a business that made you happy?
Is money what makes your world turn? Or is it happiness, compassion and a sense of satisfaction?
If you answered yes to the first question then social enterprise is probably not for you. However if you answered yes to the second question then it most probably is.
Social enterprise is a new way of doing business. Well,,,,I say it's a new way but I actually don't think it is. I think that its the way that business used to be done before we got so caught up in this rat race that is life. It s a way of doing business that helps your neighbour as much as it helps you. If we turn back the clock to the years where my Nana was growing up it seems to be that life was about helping others.
What has changed??
The answer is quite simply life has changed. We live in a society where its all about what you have got in your life. But is that what really matters??
At the end of the day - we ain't getting out this adventure called life alive no matter what way we look at it. And in reality the only legacy we leave in this world is two things - the balance we have in the bank and the difference we have made.
Personally I would much rather tick the second box. You see my social enterprise will never give me a big bank balance. My social enterprise wont have me rubbing shoulders with the elite in society.
But.. my social enterprise makes me rich in ways that I cannot even begin to describe.
Every single day I meet people who inspire me. People who are fighting battles, personally and professionally to make life better for those experiencing mental ill-health. These people are strong, beautiful and inspiring. They fill my heart and soul far more than any amount of money ever would.
They show me that amongst all the doom and gloom in the world - that there is hope. That people care for each other. And that people have the ability to make the difference that is needed in the world.
My social enterprise won't make me rich - but it will pay me enough to pay my bills. I'm not going to pretend it isn't hard to look around me sometimes and think "I could/should be earning more". There are days when I think - "what the hell am I doing??? Will I ever made a REAL difference in this whole mucked up world?? - what is the point in trying??" But I would have those days anyway no matter what type of business I was running.
But with a social enterprise that is balanced out by far by the positives of the job.
I know that change happens one person, one attitude at a time - so I keep going. And I am never far away from the next reminder of the difference I am making.
So please - consider a social enterprise as a way of doing business - because doing good really does you good!!
Friday, 9 January 2015
Lots of interest in lived experience - but no money to pay for it.
Please excuse if this sounds a wee bit like a rant but I wonder if others are sharing my frustration.
There is a lot of interest at the moment around using lived experience to inform services etc which is absolutely fantastic. I have received many many requests over the last few years. This is 100% a move forward in the right direction.
However - it seems that in most cases there is "no budget" to pay for it. HHHMMMMM
I have worked in the NHS and I now work in the voluntary sector - I know money is tight. But if the big organisations and the LA's and NHS think they have it hard - try being a small voluntary organisation,
Try working 40+ hours per week and getting paid part-time. Try running a project on a shoe string budget but trying to make it the best it can be to prove its value and worth to said LA's & NHS in the hope of a flake of dandruff from their budget in order to sustain your project. Try telling people that their experiences are valued and important - but then tell them they are not valuable enough to be paid for.
This really isn't meant to be a rant - but its a realistic view of what I have seen happening over the last 2 years.
I am living in hope that with the integration of H&S Care and the strong focus on peer support and self-management within the MH Strategy - that we may start to see a shift not only in the talk - but in the walk. Lets see some real shift of budgets to enable people with lived experience and their inputs into projects and services be valued.
In the meantime, yes we will do it free of charge. We will fuel it as usual with the passion and determination that keeps us doing all of the above. Because if we don't nothing will change. I wonder....are we doing the right thing??
There is a lot of interest at the moment around using lived experience to inform services etc which is absolutely fantastic. I have received many many requests over the last few years. This is 100% a move forward in the right direction.
However - it seems that in most cases there is "no budget" to pay for it. HHHMMMMM
I have worked in the NHS and I now work in the voluntary sector - I know money is tight. But if the big organisations and the LA's and NHS think they have it hard - try being a small voluntary organisation,
Try working 40+ hours per week and getting paid part-time. Try running a project on a shoe string budget but trying to make it the best it can be to prove its value and worth to said LA's & NHS in the hope of a flake of dandruff from their budget in order to sustain your project. Try telling people that their experiences are valued and important - but then tell them they are not valuable enough to be paid for.
This really isn't meant to be a rant - but its a realistic view of what I have seen happening over the last 2 years.
I am living in hope that with the integration of H&S Care and the strong focus on peer support and self-management within the MH Strategy - that we may start to see a shift not only in the talk - but in the walk. Lets see some real shift of budgets to enable people with lived experience and their inputs into projects and services be valued.
In the meantime, yes we will do it free of charge. We will fuel it as usual with the passion and determination that keeps us doing all of the above. Because if we don't nothing will change. I wonder....are we doing the right thing??
Sunday, 4 January 2015
How WRAP really helped me in 2014 - Focus on whats strong
As we move into 2015 I can't help but reflect back on 2014 and think WOW what a year!! I can honestly say that 2014 has been without a doubt the best year I have had for as long as I can remember.
It hasn't been an easy year - far from it. Health wise I have embarked on a new treatment regime which has as always had its ups an downs and affected both my physical and mental health. In terms of work I have never worked so hard and given so much of myself before. Family wise my boys continue to grow and there is the little part inside me that aches every day with the pain of knowing that there will never be another little one in our family courtesy of my fertility being taken from me by illness.
However - a very strange thing has occurred. Regardless of all of the above I can honestly say hand on heart that this is the first year in at least 10 years that I have not had a significant downturn in my mental health.
This year has been different and reflecting back I understand why. This year I have 100% put my WRAP to work, but more than that I have truly embraced what is known as the "assets based approach" to life. In simple terms - focusing on what's right not what's wrong.
Looking back I think that this seed was planted when I first encountered WRAP. WRAP very much encourages you to focus on what you can do - not what you can't. It has been a seed that has taken time to grow, but it has slowly blossomed and it now feels like its strong and rooted.
I didn't waken up one day and BOOM life had miraculously changed, I worked on change. I worked on really trying hard to see the positives in each situation rather than the negatives.
I really started to self advocate with regards to my health & treatment options and this has led to positive change. I entered my new treatment regime with an optimistic but realistic view - that things were going to be rocky but I had the tools and support to deal with it. And I did deal with it (and still am). My knowledge of both myself and my treatment options have aided this process greatly - without them I would still be stumbling around in the dark.
I literally took the bull by the horns and decided that if I wanted my life to change then I needed to change it. I needed a new challenge and wanted to make a real difference for others who are living with long term health conditions that affect their mental health. But I needed support to do it. So I asked for help - simple! And before I knew where I was I had registered a charity and secured funding for a new project, The Hope Café. It was as much of a shock to me as it was to my long suffering and ever so patient husband who simply said "you've done WHAT???"
And that is the biggie in all of this - the little but large thing called HOPE. The very first key concept that underpins the WRAP programme. With it you have everything - without it you have nothing. Hope has been the fuel to my fire in 2014 and I carry it forward into 2015 in abundance. Hope is unique to each individual - but what's important is that you have it. In 2014 I found it in abundance from the people who surrounded me, supported me and believed in me. There were times where things went wrong, times when things didn't work out quite as planned but having hope and a belief that things would and could get better absolutely carried me through what has turned out to be a fantastic year.
So below are a few of the little sayings that struck a cord with me and helped me in 2014 - I hope they help you. And if you would like to learn more about WRAP and The Hope Café Self-management Peer Support project why not come along to our information session on 20th January and say hi - details here http://hopecafelanarkshire.org.uk/news/want-find-out-more-about-hope-cafe-come-chat-us-January
It hasn't been an easy year - far from it. Health wise I have embarked on a new treatment regime which has as always had its ups an downs and affected both my physical and mental health. In terms of work I have never worked so hard and given so much of myself before. Family wise my boys continue to grow and there is the little part inside me that aches every day with the pain of knowing that there will never be another little one in our family courtesy of my fertility being taken from me by illness.
However - a very strange thing has occurred. Regardless of all of the above I can honestly say hand on heart that this is the first year in at least 10 years that I have not had a significant downturn in my mental health.
This year has been different and reflecting back I understand why. This year I have 100% put my WRAP to work, but more than that I have truly embraced what is known as the "assets based approach" to life. In simple terms - focusing on what's right not what's wrong.
Looking back I think that this seed was planted when I first encountered WRAP. WRAP very much encourages you to focus on what you can do - not what you can't. It has been a seed that has taken time to grow, but it has slowly blossomed and it now feels like its strong and rooted.
I didn't waken up one day and BOOM life had miraculously changed, I worked on change. I worked on really trying hard to see the positives in each situation rather than the negatives.
I really started to self advocate with regards to my health & treatment options and this has led to positive change. I entered my new treatment regime with an optimistic but realistic view - that things were going to be rocky but I had the tools and support to deal with it. And I did deal with it (and still am). My knowledge of both myself and my treatment options have aided this process greatly - without them I would still be stumbling around in the dark.
I literally took the bull by the horns and decided that if I wanted my life to change then I needed to change it. I needed a new challenge and wanted to make a real difference for others who are living with long term health conditions that affect their mental health. But I needed support to do it. So I asked for help - simple! And before I knew where I was I had registered a charity and secured funding for a new project, The Hope Café. It was as much of a shock to me as it was to my long suffering and ever so patient husband who simply said "you've done WHAT???"
And that is the biggie in all of this - the little but large thing called HOPE. The very first key concept that underpins the WRAP programme. With it you have everything - without it you have nothing. Hope has been the fuel to my fire in 2014 and I carry it forward into 2015 in abundance. Hope is unique to each individual - but what's important is that you have it. In 2014 I found it in abundance from the people who surrounded me, supported me and believed in me. There were times where things went wrong, times when things didn't work out quite as planned but having hope and a belief that things would and could get better absolutely carried me through what has turned out to be a fantastic year.
So below are a few of the little sayings that struck a cord with me and helped me in 2014 - I hope they help you. And if you would like to learn more about WRAP and The Hope Café Self-management Peer Support project why not come along to our information session on 20th January and say hi - details here http://hopecafelanarkshire.org.uk/news/want-find-out-more-about-hope-cafe-come-chat-us-January
Sunday, 7 December 2014
Reflections on SRN "Recovery" DIscussions
I attended an event hosted by Scottish Recovery Network & The Scottish Government last week around "Recovery". It was a very interesting morning and I was absolutely delighted to see the mix of individuals engaging in the event. There was a very high proportion of lived experience/peer led projects in the room which was very encouraging. It helps encourage me to keep going.
I have tried to write this blog 3 times and I just can't say what I'm trying to say in a nice constructive way - so I'm just going to say it as it is.
But yes - we are getting tired. A message to the Scottish Government - stop pouring money into things that are not working and start listening to people who are on the ground working every day. Start valuing your staff (that is every one of us at every level, NHS, LA & 3rd sector) - they are your biggest asset. Policies don't make change happen - people make change happen. Invest in people.
I have tried to write this blog 3 times and I just can't say what I'm trying to say in a nice constructive way - so I'm just going to say it as it is.
- You cannot "do" recovery to people
- You cannot define what recovery means to another person
- Most NHS services (in my experience) are still too focused on medical interventions
- The 3rd sector projects that support & maintain recovery are NOT being well supported by local health boards and local authorities
- There needs to be a shift in power
- More peer led projects are needed to work alongside statutory services
- Recovery needs to start at grass roots in communities - therefor community projects need support from the top.
- I LOVE all my fellow heel diggers who are determined to make change happen (that includes many NHS staff!) Keep digging in those heels as we WILL make a difference.
But yes - we are getting tired. A message to the Scottish Government - stop pouring money into things that are not working and start listening to people who are on the ground working every day. Start valuing your staff (that is every one of us at every level, NHS, LA & 3rd sector) - they are your biggest asset. Policies don't make change happen - people make change happen. Invest in people.
Wednesday, 8 October 2014
Self Management Champion of The Year - What it Means to Me
I am very delighted to announce that last week I received an award from Health & Social Care Alliance Scotland. I was awarded "Self Management Champion of The Year" which was a very humbling experience as I sat in the room and heard about all the amazing work that is happening all across Scotland to champion self-management approaches.
It is no secret that my self-management tool of choice is WRAP (Wellness Recovery Action Planning), and that I have been championing WRAP by delivering it all across Scotland. However - WRAP is only one tool amongst many. And what is important is that you find which tool - or combination of tools, that work for you.
I have absolutely no doubt that WRAP works for me as if it didn't I am certain that I would not have collected the award last week or be out and about doing what I am doing in Hope Café Lanarkshire.
You see, I live well now. But I do not live well by chance - I live well by choice. And life isn't perfect. I still have days where my body and/or my mind hurt (often very badly), but something keeps me going. My husband says its my sheer stubbornness (I disagree btw!). I personally think that it isn't one thing that keeps me going. I think it is a combination of many things that keep me well - and more-so keep me going when I feel unwell.
Its passion for what I do, it's the want (almost need) to make a difference for others who may walk the same path behind me, or those who are currently walking it beside me but haven't had the opportunities I have had thanks to WRAP. Its the fact that I want to no longer feel like I'm just treading water every day - I want to feel like I'm living!! My friend got me this magnet that says on it
"Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways totally worn out shouting 'holy shit..what a ride!!' "
I do personally hope that my body is still well preserved as I work hard at that lol - but you get the message.
The absolutely best thing for me about receiving the award was that it is proof that things are changing. No-one can "champion" anything unless people are willing to engage with what they are championing. So people are engaging with self-management. I don't care if they are engaging with WRAP specifically (although a little bit of support in this area wouldn't go amiss from my own NHS board - hint hint NHS Lanarkshire!!!) What matters to me is that self-management is up there on the agenda with 'the high heid yins' who hold the purse strings.
It is not rocket science that a penny of prevention is worth a pound of cure, but it is taking a while for the penny to drop in the NHS. If we can truly start to give people opportunities to learn about themselves and the conditions they live with, to make informed choices about treatment options and to play an active part in their own health care we are bound to see the benefits. I know that in my case I now no longer feel like I live in my GP surgery and that the receptionists are the only people I speak to on the phone!! There was a time where I had a standing joke with my GP that I should be collecting loyalty points because I was there that often. I now actually quite miss her as she is a pretty fabulous lady.
If I had not been introduced to self-management via WRAP I know that I would be still trooping in and out the GP surgery waiting for her to 'fix' me. Thanks to what I have learnt I am now out there in the community making a difference. And even better than that I am the wife and mum that I always wanted to be but didn't think I could be.
Self-management is not easy - but by gum its worth it!!
D x
It is no secret that my self-management tool of choice is WRAP (Wellness Recovery Action Planning), and that I have been championing WRAP by delivering it all across Scotland. However - WRAP is only one tool amongst many. And what is important is that you find which tool - or combination of tools, that work for you.
I have absolutely no doubt that WRAP works for me as if it didn't I am certain that I would not have collected the award last week or be out and about doing what I am doing in Hope Café Lanarkshire.
You see, I live well now. But I do not live well by chance - I live well by choice. And life isn't perfect. I still have days where my body and/or my mind hurt (often very badly), but something keeps me going. My husband says its my sheer stubbornness (I disagree btw!). I personally think that it isn't one thing that keeps me going. I think it is a combination of many things that keep me well - and more-so keep me going when I feel unwell.
Its passion for what I do, it's the want (almost need) to make a difference for others who may walk the same path behind me, or those who are currently walking it beside me but haven't had the opportunities I have had thanks to WRAP. Its the fact that I want to no longer feel like I'm just treading water every day - I want to feel like I'm living!! My friend got me this magnet that says on it
"Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways totally worn out shouting 'holy shit..what a ride!!' "
I do personally hope that my body is still well preserved as I work hard at that lol - but you get the message.
The absolutely best thing for me about receiving the award was that it is proof that things are changing. No-one can "champion" anything unless people are willing to engage with what they are championing. So people are engaging with self-management. I don't care if they are engaging with WRAP specifically (although a little bit of support in this area wouldn't go amiss from my own NHS board - hint hint NHS Lanarkshire!!!) What matters to me is that self-management is up there on the agenda with 'the high heid yins' who hold the purse strings.
It is not rocket science that a penny of prevention is worth a pound of cure, but it is taking a while for the penny to drop in the NHS. If we can truly start to give people opportunities to learn about themselves and the conditions they live with, to make informed choices about treatment options and to play an active part in their own health care we are bound to see the benefits. I know that in my case I now no longer feel like I live in my GP surgery and that the receptionists are the only people I speak to on the phone!! There was a time where I had a standing joke with my GP that I should be collecting loyalty points because I was there that often. I now actually quite miss her as she is a pretty fabulous lady.
If I had not been introduced to self-management via WRAP I know that I would be still trooping in and out the GP surgery waiting for her to 'fix' me. Thanks to what I have learnt I am now out there in the community making a difference. And even better than that I am the wife and mum that I always wanted to be but didn't think I could be.
Self-management is not easy - but by gum its worth it!!
D x
Sunday, 6 April 2014
SeeMe14 Reflections, Who are we to Judge
I have had quite a few things rumbling through my head since SeeMe14 Agenda setting event - so taking a leaf out of my friend @micmacfisheroo's book I'm going to get them out of my head and down on paper. You may not agree with them - and that's ok as we are all entitled to our own thoughts and opinions.
I wasn't going to mention this - but then saw via another blog that someone else had felt similar.
We spent lots of time talking about how everyone should be treated as an equal, see past the label of a diagnosis etc. But underneath I felt that there were some rumblings around who has what diagnosis - and how bad is life for them in comparison to someone with perhaps a 'lesser' diagnosis.
I'll try and explain what I mean.
When I first shared my own story Behind Closed Doors, I felt like who the hell will be interested in my story. Through work and personal life I had met people who in my eyes were living with a condition which was far more 'severe' than mine. My own experience actually - in my eyes at that time felt shameful to me. And when I looked at it in comparison to what other had experienced, and were still experiencing it felt almost wrong that I should share it. But it was a massive part of my recovery to share it, to get it out there and to stop feeling ashamed around what my experiences had been.
Because my condition, and experience was quite unique - and not in my head the 'normal' psychiatric experience, time and time again I tried to tell myself that it wasn't that bad - but it was. It was complete and utter hell to me.
This is what I suppose I'm trying to explain - that it doesn't matter what your diagnosis or experience with mental illness is, what matters is how it impacts you and makes you feel. To me it's like these stupid pain measurement charts in hospital asking you to rate your pain. Someone can rate the pain of a broken toe at 10 - yet someone else can rate the pain of terminal cancer as a 7. This is why I feel that sometimes we are still focusing on labels rather than on impact of illness. And that in itself, in my view is stigmatising and discriminatory behaviour. Are we any better than those we accuse of stigmatising and discriminating against us - if we are also discriminating ourselves and others based on diagnosis? I don't know about you guys - but for me self-stigma was horrendous.
The first time I ever felt that my experience was actually validated was when I attended a WRAP course and I met my now WRAP partner and best buddy GG. I knew GG through work, but wouldn't say at that stage that we were buddies. One of the exercises we had to do was talk to the person next to us about our experiences, and GG was my partner. We then had to introduce each other. As I sat and listened to some of GG's story I was thinking to myself 'How the hell is this lady still alive, she is so strong, and imagine living with X diagnosis'. I was then utterly astounded when GG introduced me to the group as 'This is Donna and I don't know how this woman is still standing'
I think if I remember correctly I just cried.
This is when I truly began to understand that in my eyes a diagnosis is there to help medical professionals - and sometimes ourselves, to make sense of our experiences and try and find a way to treat the symptoms of our illness if we want them to be treated. It is not there to define us - or to decide what quality of life we will or won't have. Or at least it shouldn't be.
In reality I know this isn't always the case. Having spent 14 months working in an acute in-patient setting as a peer worker I met many wonderful people with many varied diagnosis's. Staff often used words like 'severe, mild, moderate, enduring' which often confused me as lets face it every single person who was in those wards was there because their situation - regardless of their diagnosis had become so painful to them that they ended up in hospital. Who are we to label it as mild, moderate or severe? Each persons experience is their experience, and is unique to them. We cannot make judgements on how much it impacts them. Is my good friend GG's experience of living with a diagnosis of Schizoaffective Disorder and more or less painful than my other good friends experience of living with a diagnosis of Social Anxiety. Who are we to judge?
This brings me nicely onto the other thing that has been rumbling through my head. The discussions around the 'Recovery' movement. What people thing about the word, the concept. My take on it is that I believe in the concept of recovery but I am unsure about the word.
I really wanted to attend the pop up workshop on this at SeeMe14 but it co-incided with another workshop I had booked into. Like everyone's experience of mental illness is unique - I truly believe that everyone's experience of 'recovery' and what that means to them is unique.
As a WRAP facilitator we discuss the concept of recovery very early on in the WRAP process. I am always honest and say that I struggle with the word, and that I prefer to think of it in terms of living well. I often equate it to the word wellness.
I have no idea if I'm 'recovered', I don't really care as what I do know is that I'm living well most of the time. I still take medication, I still use various techniques and therapies to keep me feeling well. I don't use formal mental health services as I have done everything within my power to stay away from psychiatrists since my only contact with them in my early 20's given the lack of understanding by them around my issues. To me 'recovery' could be seen by some as a wee bit of a label too. And a confusing one, especially for someone who is living with a diagnosis of a long term mental health condition. I will use the example of my friend P who is living with a diagnosis of DID.
I met P whilst working on the wards, and I felt extremely patronising when I started to try and plant the seed of belief that recovery was possible (as per my job description - to inspire hope that recovery is possible) as lets face it P was going to be living with this condition for the rest of her life. But it was a huge learning experience for me - and this is when I really started to understand that I had to change the language that I was using. Instead of talking about recovery - a concept that P could not understandably relate to, we started to talk instead about wellness.
These conversations went on sometimes for minutes, and sometimes for an hour or two. P still doesn't believe that she will ever 'recover', but thankfully she does know see that she can live well.
SeeMe14 was an eye opener for me, it exhausted me, confused me in some ways, and gave me clarity in other ways. But one thing is for sure - it inspired me to keep doing what I'm doing and that is to keep banging my drum. I can't change the world but maybe I can help change one more persons world.
I wasn't going to mention this - but then saw via another blog that someone else had felt similar.
We spent lots of time talking about how everyone should be treated as an equal, see past the label of a diagnosis etc. But underneath I felt that there were some rumblings around who has what diagnosis - and how bad is life for them in comparison to someone with perhaps a 'lesser' diagnosis.
I'll try and explain what I mean.
When I first shared my own story Behind Closed Doors, I felt like who the hell will be interested in my story. Through work and personal life I had met people who in my eyes were living with a condition which was far more 'severe' than mine. My own experience actually - in my eyes at that time felt shameful to me. And when I looked at it in comparison to what other had experienced, and were still experiencing it felt almost wrong that I should share it. But it was a massive part of my recovery to share it, to get it out there and to stop feeling ashamed around what my experiences had been.
Because my condition, and experience was quite unique - and not in my head the 'normal' psychiatric experience, time and time again I tried to tell myself that it wasn't that bad - but it was. It was complete and utter hell to me.
This is what I suppose I'm trying to explain - that it doesn't matter what your diagnosis or experience with mental illness is, what matters is how it impacts you and makes you feel. To me it's like these stupid pain measurement charts in hospital asking you to rate your pain. Someone can rate the pain of a broken toe at 10 - yet someone else can rate the pain of terminal cancer as a 7. This is why I feel that sometimes we are still focusing on labels rather than on impact of illness. And that in itself, in my view is stigmatising and discriminatory behaviour. Are we any better than those we accuse of stigmatising and discriminating against us - if we are also discriminating ourselves and others based on diagnosis? I don't know about you guys - but for me self-stigma was horrendous.
The first time I ever felt that my experience was actually validated was when I attended a WRAP course and I met my now WRAP partner and best buddy GG. I knew GG through work, but wouldn't say at that stage that we were buddies. One of the exercises we had to do was talk to the person next to us about our experiences, and GG was my partner. We then had to introduce each other. As I sat and listened to some of GG's story I was thinking to myself 'How the hell is this lady still alive, she is so strong, and imagine living with X diagnosis'. I was then utterly astounded when GG introduced me to the group as 'This is Donna and I don't know how this woman is still standing'
I think if I remember correctly I just cried.
This is when I truly began to understand that in my eyes a diagnosis is there to help medical professionals - and sometimes ourselves, to make sense of our experiences and try and find a way to treat the symptoms of our illness if we want them to be treated. It is not there to define us - or to decide what quality of life we will or won't have. Or at least it shouldn't be.
In reality I know this isn't always the case. Having spent 14 months working in an acute in-patient setting as a peer worker I met many wonderful people with many varied diagnosis's. Staff often used words like 'severe, mild, moderate, enduring' which often confused me as lets face it every single person who was in those wards was there because their situation - regardless of their diagnosis had become so painful to them that they ended up in hospital. Who are we to label it as mild, moderate or severe? Each persons experience is their experience, and is unique to them. We cannot make judgements on how much it impacts them. Is my good friend GG's experience of living with a diagnosis of Schizoaffective Disorder and more or less painful than my other good friends experience of living with a diagnosis of Social Anxiety. Who are we to judge?
This brings me nicely onto the other thing that has been rumbling through my head. The discussions around the 'Recovery' movement. What people thing about the word, the concept. My take on it is that I believe in the concept of recovery but I am unsure about the word.
I really wanted to attend the pop up workshop on this at SeeMe14 but it co-incided with another workshop I had booked into. Like everyone's experience of mental illness is unique - I truly believe that everyone's experience of 'recovery' and what that means to them is unique.
As a WRAP facilitator we discuss the concept of recovery very early on in the WRAP process. I am always honest and say that I struggle with the word, and that I prefer to think of it in terms of living well. I often equate it to the word wellness.
I have no idea if I'm 'recovered', I don't really care as what I do know is that I'm living well most of the time. I still take medication, I still use various techniques and therapies to keep me feeling well. I don't use formal mental health services as I have done everything within my power to stay away from psychiatrists since my only contact with them in my early 20's given the lack of understanding by them around my issues. To me 'recovery' could be seen by some as a wee bit of a label too. And a confusing one, especially for someone who is living with a diagnosis of a long term mental health condition. I will use the example of my friend P who is living with a diagnosis of DID.
I met P whilst working on the wards, and I felt extremely patronising when I started to try and plant the seed of belief that recovery was possible (as per my job description - to inspire hope that recovery is possible) as lets face it P was going to be living with this condition for the rest of her life. But it was a huge learning experience for me - and this is when I really started to understand that I had to change the language that I was using. Instead of talking about recovery - a concept that P could not understandably relate to, we started to talk instead about wellness.
These conversations went on sometimes for minutes, and sometimes for an hour or two. P still doesn't believe that she will ever 'recover', but thankfully she does know see that she can live well.
SeeMe14 was an eye opener for me, it exhausted me, confused me in some ways, and gave me clarity in other ways. But one thing is for sure - it inspired me to keep doing what I'm doing and that is to keep banging my drum. I can't change the world but maybe I can help change one more persons world.
Sunday, 30 March 2014
Mental Healthcare -Parity of Esteem my A**e - Tragic Suicide
Firstly excuse my French, I don't swear a lot but this has made me feel so angry. Today I read on Twitter that a lady called @silentlyana had completed suicide. An tragedy in itself - but what makes it more of a tragedy is that TWICE in one day on Friday this individual asked for help and was sent away being described as 'manipulative'. Today she is dead.
As I read Amanda Stands blog http://beautyfrompainblog.com/ about this tragedy I couldn't help but feel so sad for the loss of this young ladies life. But like Amanda it was mixed with frustration, disappointment and even anger. I didn't know @silentlyana, but I know and have worked with many people who have faced similar battles. People who are reaching out for help when they are in great pain - and are turned away. People who are called 'manipulative' and 'attention seeking'. Like Amanda I also deliver various mental health training courses including Suicide Awareness/Prevention Training and these are common misconceptions that arise time and time again.
I try to use my own experience of a suicide attempt to help people understand. I explain it like this:
When you are actively suicidal, you are in pain. ALOT of pain. You very often cannot find the words to express how you feel. You are past words, past cares, sometimes even past thinking because it's too painful to think. To ask for help takes a huge amount of courage and effort.
If at this stage someone reaches out and asks for help it beggers belief that they should be turned away and called 'manipulative' Would someone presenting at A & E with a flare up of a long term physical health condition be sent away - or would the staff try and ease the pain? No - never in a million years would they be sent away, so why the hell does it happen time and time again to people who are mentally unwell??
I would love to think that this was a one off incident - but sadly experience tells me it's not. I worked in acute in-patient admission wards in Lanarkshire and on more than one occasion heard staff describing people as manipulative. I of course challenged this, but as a peer worker at that time it was pretty clear that some staff on this particular ward had no respect for my role so I feel it fell upon deaf ears.
And the work that I do within the community, time and time again young people tell me of their experiences of attending A&E with self-harm injuries and being treated with no dignity or respect. Being labelled 'attention seeking' , and in some cases even being told to apply their own dressings.
People are in pain - they are not 'attention seeking', they are seeking your attention for a reason. Please remember that.
Rest in Peace @silentlyana, I hope that the people responsible for this tragedy are held accountable
As I read Amanda Stands blog http://beautyfrompainblog.com/ about this tragedy I couldn't help but feel so sad for the loss of this young ladies life. But like Amanda it was mixed with frustration, disappointment and even anger. I didn't know @silentlyana, but I know and have worked with many people who have faced similar battles. People who are reaching out for help when they are in great pain - and are turned away. People who are called 'manipulative' and 'attention seeking'. Like Amanda I also deliver various mental health training courses including Suicide Awareness/Prevention Training and these are common misconceptions that arise time and time again.
I try to use my own experience of a suicide attempt to help people understand. I explain it like this:
When you are actively suicidal, you are in pain. ALOT of pain. You very often cannot find the words to express how you feel. You are past words, past cares, sometimes even past thinking because it's too painful to think. To ask for help takes a huge amount of courage and effort.
If at this stage someone reaches out and asks for help it beggers belief that they should be turned away and called 'manipulative' Would someone presenting at A & E with a flare up of a long term physical health condition be sent away - or would the staff try and ease the pain? No - never in a million years would they be sent away, so why the hell does it happen time and time again to people who are mentally unwell??
I would love to think that this was a one off incident - but sadly experience tells me it's not. I worked in acute in-patient admission wards in Lanarkshire and on more than one occasion heard staff describing people as manipulative. I of course challenged this, but as a peer worker at that time it was pretty clear that some staff on this particular ward had no respect for my role so I feel it fell upon deaf ears.
And the work that I do within the community, time and time again young people tell me of their experiences of attending A&E with self-harm injuries and being treated with no dignity or respect. Being labelled 'attention seeking' , and in some cases even being told to apply their own dressings.
People are in pain - they are not 'attention seeking', they are seeking your attention for a reason. Please remember that.
Rest in Peace @silentlyana, I hope that the people responsible for this tragedy are held accountable
Wednesday, 19 March 2014
How do we measure Hope and Compassion
For the last 6 months I have been working with a fabulous organisation in Cumbernauld called Now You're Talking. I have been working with them to deliver 4 x 2 day WRAP workshops over a 12 month period for their members, funded by Alliance Scotland
I came across NYT by chance way back in late 2012 and I liked the sound of what they were doing. So I popped over to see the project for myself one day and from the minute I went through the doors I felt welcome. On Tuesday the 18th March I joined NYT in celebrating their 5th birthday party, and also officially opening their community café - Happy Talk Café.
Over 100 people attended, a fantastic and well deserved turnout. In the crowd were staff from Department of Work and Pensions as NYT were receiving an award for being a Disability Friendly Employer. There was also a really good turnout from other local voluntary sector groups including Voluntary Action North Lanarkshire who have supported NYT since day 1. They presented NYT with a Volunteer Friendly Award in recognition of the fantastic volunteer opportunities they provide.
There was a noticeable lack of representation from the local health board and also the local social work department. It is no secret that organisations that are peer led often are misunderstood and don't receive the support they deserve. Maybe its because their achievements can't easily be measured in figures, spreadsheets and statistics.
How do you measure the hope that someone gets from being involved with a project like NYT? How do you accurately portray the levels of compassion found in organisations like these across Scotland? The only way that you can do it is to walk through the doors and see and feel for yourself the difference that these projects are making in peoples lives. Speak to people - listen to their stories and then decide if these projects are worthwhile. I am so glad that I walked through the doors back in 2012.
As I venture into this world of social enterprises and peer led projects with my new project The Hope Cafe Lanarkshire, I am extremely fortunate that so far we have received excellent support and encouragement from our local authority and health board - and I hope that this continues.
For organisations like Now You're Talking - my message is simple - don't change what you're doing, because what your doing works and is making a difference to many many lives. Keep your head held high and be proud of what you have achieved. Don't let anyone dull your sparkle :)
And to anyone who doubts the value of a peer led project - take yourself through the doors. Spare an hour to speak to people and listen to their stories - then make your judgements.
I came across NYT by chance way back in late 2012 and I liked the sound of what they were doing. So I popped over to see the project for myself one day and from the minute I went through the doors I felt welcome. On Tuesday the 18th March I joined NYT in celebrating their 5th birthday party, and also officially opening their community café - Happy Talk Café.
Over 100 people attended, a fantastic and well deserved turnout. In the crowd were staff from Department of Work and Pensions as NYT were receiving an award for being a Disability Friendly Employer. There was also a really good turnout from other local voluntary sector groups including Voluntary Action North Lanarkshire who have supported NYT since day 1. They presented NYT with a Volunteer Friendly Award in recognition of the fantastic volunteer opportunities they provide.
There was a noticeable lack of representation from the local health board and also the local social work department. It is no secret that organisations that are peer led often are misunderstood and don't receive the support they deserve. Maybe its because their achievements can't easily be measured in figures, spreadsheets and statistics.
How do you measure the hope that someone gets from being involved with a project like NYT? How do you accurately portray the levels of compassion found in organisations like these across Scotland? The only way that you can do it is to walk through the doors and see and feel for yourself the difference that these projects are making in peoples lives. Speak to people - listen to their stories and then decide if these projects are worthwhile. I am so glad that I walked through the doors back in 2012.
As I venture into this world of social enterprises and peer led projects with my new project The Hope Cafe Lanarkshire, I am extremely fortunate that so far we have received excellent support and encouragement from our local authority and health board - and I hope that this continues.
For organisations like Now You're Talking - my message is simple - don't change what you're doing, because what your doing works and is making a difference to many many lives. Keep your head held high and be proud of what you have achieved. Don't let anyone dull your sparkle :)
And to anyone who doubts the value of a peer led project - take yourself through the doors. Spare an hour to speak to people and listen to their stories - then make your judgements.
Friday, 14 February 2014
In memory
It's been snowing here lately. I love snow - I find it extremely peaceful. I think this is because on my birthday 4 years ago the woman I loved most in this world; my Nana, passed away. It was the worst snow we have had for years - we did not know if we were going to be able to bury her but all I could think about was how peaceful it was. How still and pure and white. I remember going out for a walk the night she died and staring at the sky. I was looking for the brightest star as ever since I was a child Nana would tell me that the brightest star was the person you loved the most shining down on you. The snow was billowing down and I felt such a sense of peace. Even although my Nana hated snow I believe it was a symbol to me that she was at rest and peaceful after a long battle.
My Nana and Papa meant the world to me, I lost my Papa 7 years previously just before I got married. Again it was very wintry - and a hard frost. My Nana nursed my Papa through Parkinson's and Alzheimer's, a horrendous journey but one that she faced with such courage and determination regardless of her own disabilities. They taught me what love means - that I am sure of.
I was looking through my most precious possession tonight which is a little book of poems and verse's that my Nana kept at the side of her chair. She used to write in it a lot, and it is full of the most inspiring little poems. It literally saved me after she died as every time I read it I feel as if she is here with me.
Anyway - I found this poem which as I can't find anywhere on the internet - I am assuming was her own creation - it's about Alzheimer's and Parkinson's - although I now believe that Papa had Lewy Body Dementia.
"Where have you gone to my husband, locked in your Alzheimer's shell.
Your dead eyes can only look forward to your own particular hell
You used to prowl like a lion now you merely shuffle along
Like a ship without keel or udder - shall we ever know what went wrong?
You died long ago my darling, I can only remember and sigh
Perhaps in your muddles perspectives - you get echo's of good times gone by. "
In loving memory of Nana and Papa who I dedicate the opening of my new social enterprise The Hope Café Lanarkshire to.
"The good we do is never lost, each kindly act takes root. And every seed of hope we sow in time will bear its fruit" From Nana's book
My Nana and Papa meant the world to me, I lost my Papa 7 years previously just before I got married. Again it was very wintry - and a hard frost. My Nana nursed my Papa through Parkinson's and Alzheimer's, a horrendous journey but one that she faced with such courage and determination regardless of her own disabilities. They taught me what love means - that I am sure of.
I was looking through my most precious possession tonight which is a little book of poems and verse's that my Nana kept at the side of her chair. She used to write in it a lot, and it is full of the most inspiring little poems. It literally saved me after she died as every time I read it I feel as if she is here with me.
Anyway - I found this poem which as I can't find anywhere on the internet - I am assuming was her own creation - it's about Alzheimer's and Parkinson's - although I now believe that Papa had Lewy Body Dementia.
"Where have you gone to my husband, locked in your Alzheimer's shell.
Your dead eyes can only look forward to your own particular hell
You used to prowl like a lion now you merely shuffle along
Like a ship without keel or udder - shall we ever know what went wrong?
You died long ago my darling, I can only remember and sigh
Perhaps in your muddles perspectives - you get echo's of good times gone by. "
In loving memory of Nana and Papa who I dedicate the opening of my new social enterprise The Hope Café Lanarkshire to.
"The good we do is never lost, each kindly act takes root. And every seed of hope we sow in time will bear its fruit" From Nana's book
Tuesday, 28 January 2014
The importance of Self Advocacy & Education - Response from Patient Opinion Post
Recently I posted on Patient Opinion about my experiences of trying to access treatment to help me manage Early Menopause which you can read here if you so wish.
Patient Opinion is an excellent vehicle to exercise your self advocacy skills - it can get your voice heard and also let others know that they are not alone in the trials that they face. It is also an excellent way to give good feedback - something that isn't given often enough. (reminds me to post about my wonderful GP)
I continued to chase up NHSGG about this appointment and lack of follow up, and I did eventually receive an appointment letter on Friday. I also received a response via patient opinion that day. Yesterday I took a call from a lovely lady who asked me to explain to her my frustrations. I explained that firstly it was disappointing to be told that someone will be in touch in a few weeks and then have no response for months, regardless of chasing it up. She agreed this wasn't good practice.
I then explained (as per post on PO) that I felt that the professional who dealt with me was imposing her own personal views on HRT upon me rather than fact. Not having been in the consultation - she couldn't comment which I understand. However this is when things started to go a tad downhill.
She then asked me to understand that the Dr may have been reluctant to provide treatment based on 'the risks' associated with the treatment. I pointed out that it has been proven that there is more risk to someone my age NOT taking HRT (British Menopause Society & International Menopause Society), and repeated again that I have thoroughly researched this area. I also mentioned that I am part of Menopause UK Network, and we have been inputting into the creation of the new NICE Guidelines to help ensure that women's voices and their lived experiences are being heard. The initial scoping has just been completed and we will be playing an active role in the development of these guidelines. She questioned the validity of various pieces of research, stating she used to be an advanced nurse something or another.......and questioning if I was and I quote "medically trained"
SO here is my point - it has absolutely no relevance if I am medically trained or not. I am living with this condition day in and day out and have been doing so for the last 4 years. I also happen to be someone that I would deem to be well educated both academically and more importantly in valuable life experience.
This is the best way I can think to compare it to try and get medically trained staff to start to LISTEN to their patients living with long term conditions:
Before I had children I worked in early education, I spent all my days working with children. I thought I knew all there was to know about children. I read more books than I care to remember whilst I was pregnant with my own children. I considered myself to be an EXPERT when it came to children. BUT - and it's a big BUT.........when I had my own children I suddenly realised no amount of education, experience or books could have prepared me for the real life experience of actually living with children 24/7. Do you see what I mean?
So Dr's and other medical professionals I am asking you from the bottom of my heart - please start to listen to and work WITH the people you are supporting who are managing long term conditions. Yes you are the expert in your medical field and we respect you for that. However people like me who are living with a long term condition - many of us are experts in our own lives. Please respect us for that. As my good friend Chris Young would say "Walk a mile"
I'm unsure how I feel about the outcome - I will wait and reserve judgement after my next appointment. However I do feel strong and assertive, as I have educated myself well with the fantastic support of my GP and my peers. Knowledge is power when applied - and believe you me I will be using all my self advocacy skills and knowledge to continue to fight for my right to access good treatment. I'll keep you posted ;)
Oh and if we have ladies reading this who would like some invaluable peer support to help them manage Early Menopause please visit Daisy Network, Menopause Matters, Hyster Sisters or our friendly peer support group on Facebook
Patient Opinion is an excellent vehicle to exercise your self advocacy skills - it can get your voice heard and also let others know that they are not alone in the trials that they face. It is also an excellent way to give good feedback - something that isn't given often enough. (reminds me to post about my wonderful GP)
I continued to chase up NHSGG about this appointment and lack of follow up, and I did eventually receive an appointment letter on Friday. I also received a response via patient opinion that day. Yesterday I took a call from a lovely lady who asked me to explain to her my frustrations. I explained that firstly it was disappointing to be told that someone will be in touch in a few weeks and then have no response for months, regardless of chasing it up. She agreed this wasn't good practice.
I then explained (as per post on PO) that I felt that the professional who dealt with me was imposing her own personal views on HRT upon me rather than fact. Not having been in the consultation - she couldn't comment which I understand. However this is when things started to go a tad downhill.
She then asked me to understand that the Dr may have been reluctant to provide treatment based on 'the risks' associated with the treatment. I pointed out that it has been proven that there is more risk to someone my age NOT taking HRT (British Menopause Society & International Menopause Society), and repeated again that I have thoroughly researched this area. I also mentioned that I am part of Menopause UK Network, and we have been inputting into the creation of the new NICE Guidelines to help ensure that women's voices and their lived experiences are being heard. The initial scoping has just been completed and we will be playing an active role in the development of these guidelines. She questioned the validity of various pieces of research, stating she used to be an advanced nurse something or another.......and questioning if I was and I quote "medically trained"
SO here is my point - it has absolutely no relevance if I am medically trained or not. I am living with this condition day in and day out and have been doing so for the last 4 years. I also happen to be someone that I would deem to be well educated both academically and more importantly in valuable life experience.
This is the best way I can think to compare it to try and get medically trained staff to start to LISTEN to their patients living with long term conditions:
Before I had children I worked in early education, I spent all my days working with children. I thought I knew all there was to know about children. I read more books than I care to remember whilst I was pregnant with my own children. I considered myself to be an EXPERT when it came to children. BUT - and it's a big BUT.........when I had my own children I suddenly realised no amount of education, experience or books could have prepared me for the real life experience of actually living with children 24/7. Do you see what I mean?
So Dr's and other medical professionals I am asking you from the bottom of my heart - please start to listen to and work WITH the people you are supporting who are managing long term conditions. Yes you are the expert in your medical field and we respect you for that. However people like me who are living with a long term condition - many of us are experts in our own lives. Please respect us for that. As my good friend Chris Young would say "Walk a mile"
I'm unsure how I feel about the outcome - I will wait and reserve judgement after my next appointment. However I do feel strong and assertive, as I have educated myself well with the fantastic support of my GP and my peers. Knowledge is power when applied - and believe you me I will be using all my self advocacy skills and knowledge to continue to fight for my right to access good treatment. I'll keep you posted ;)
Oh and if we have ladies reading this who would like some invaluable peer support to help them manage Early Menopause please visit Daisy Network, Menopause Matters, Hyster Sisters or our friendly peer support group on Facebook
Tuesday, 31 December 2013
Lessons learned in 2013 - what life with WRAP has taught me
Before we enter 2014 I wanted to put my thoughts down on paper about how WRAP has helped me learn a few things this year. For me WRAP isn't about the 12 page booklet I completed when I first completed WRAP training. Its so much more than that. It has completely changed my outlook about life. Here are some of my reflections from this year.
WRAP really really has enabled me to take control of my own life. This is a very unusual feeling - and one that takes a while to get used to as anyone living with a long term condition will tell you that it sometimes feels like you are out of control of your own life. But this year - especially the last 6 months I have really felt able to play an active role in my own life and own wellness. WRAP has been a process that has enabled me to become very self aware, and as a result of this I feel much more in control of my own life. It pulls together all my ways of managing and coping with the challenges life throws at me, and truly learn from them in order to move forward positively.
2013 hasn't been the easiest of years and has seen some huge changes in my life. But I am looking forward to moving forward and creating new positive memories. My New Years Resolution for 2014 is quite simply to be happy and find something to smile about each day.
Wishing you all a happy, health and hopeful new year. Donna x x x
The past is an immovable object. There is not a single thing I can do about the past. Its gone and I can't change it. There is no point in wishing things were different, or playing over and over again in my mind how I would have done things differently. It is pointless, draining and very detrimental to my health. I have to accept the past but learn to change the way I think about it.
Its okay to ask for help
True friends are worth their weight in gold (Thank you - you know who you are x x x x)
I cannot control other people actions - I can only control my reactions. Their actions is their Karma, my reaction is my Karma.
Anger, although a normal reaction is not a healthy reaction. Don't hold onto anger.
Everyone deserves a second chance - but not everyone deserves a third.
Don't let anyone else define you - you write your own story.
Listening is the most powerful tool we have when battling with mental health issues. Listen to yourself and afford others time to really be listened to.
Sometimes I don't know the right answer - that's ok.
There is always hope
WRAP really really has enabled me to take control of my own life. This is a very unusual feeling - and one that takes a while to get used to as anyone living with a long term condition will tell you that it sometimes feels like you are out of control of your own life. But this year - especially the last 6 months I have really felt able to play an active role in my own life and own wellness. WRAP has been a process that has enabled me to become very self aware, and as a result of this I feel much more in control of my own life. It pulls together all my ways of managing and coping with the challenges life throws at me, and truly learn from them in order to move forward positively.
Wishing you all a happy, health and hopeful new year. Donna x x x
Wednesday, 18 December 2013
WRAP Reflections
I have been thinking alot lately about Wellness Recovery Action Planning. It has been a big part of my life this year. I have facilitated many WRAP workshops this year and each one has been unique yet wonderful in its own way. The people I have the pleasure of meeting and sharing stories with truly inspire me beyond words. Being around WRAP so much has made me ask myself ............do I practice what I preach??
This year has taught me that I mostly do but I don't always - but hey who does?? But what I have learnt is that when I do - it works.
I have learnt a very very valuable lesson this year - your WRAP needs to change and adapt as you change and adapt. My life changed tremendously this year. Work changed, situations in my personal life changed, my health changed and home life as I have known it for 8 years changed when my youngest baby boy started school. Strangely the one that hit me the most was the latter. The other stuff I could actively do something about but there was nothing I could do to stop my baby leaving and walking through the school gates in August. I didn't fully understand why it was so difficult as I knew it was going to happen, and I was actually quite looking forward to some 'me time' during the day with plans of lying watching TV, lunch with friends etc . But when the little man walked through those gates and I went home to my empty quiet house a sadness like I have never felt in along time engulfed me. They say it takes one thing to push you over the edge - maybe that was the thing, who knows??
Anyway - I guess what I'm trying to say is that we can't always plan for how we feel, I don't have an action plan in place for every eventuality. But what I did learn is sometimes I can't change what happens - I can only change my reaction to it. For a few months there I was slipping down a hole that I didn't want to, regardless of trying to implement my wellness tools. It took me until the end of November to realise that I needed some new ones.
I also learnt that not every negative emotion needs a label. The feelings I were experiencing were a completely natural reaction to a situation which was triggering for me - but I panicked because I didn't recognise fully that a trigger had occurred. It was labelled depression as it persisted for more than 3 months and it was very unpleasant and distressing. Funnily enough - anti-depressants didn't help.
Now that I am thinking a bit more rationally I can see that the issue wasn't starting school - it was the fact that starting school signalled the end of my 'baby years' as I call them. I cannot have anymore kids due to health issues and this was the real reason that I was so upset. So - new wellness tools implemented - weekly counselling sessions to talk through my thoughts and feelings, lots of 'big boy' fun activities,lots of family time and a new project to throw myself into has really helped. There is no medication that can deal with these things for me, but I have learnt that I can deal with them when I look deep inside myself and find the answers - WRAP helps me to do that.
I have made a lot of changes to my WRAP by reflecting on my recent period of feeling unwell. Every experience really is an opportunity to learn
D x
This year has taught me that I mostly do but I don't always - but hey who does?? But what I have learnt is that when I do - it works.
I have learnt a very very valuable lesson this year - your WRAP needs to change and adapt as you change and adapt. My life changed tremendously this year. Work changed, situations in my personal life changed, my health changed and home life as I have known it for 8 years changed when my youngest baby boy started school. Strangely the one that hit me the most was the latter. The other stuff I could actively do something about but there was nothing I could do to stop my baby leaving and walking through the school gates in August. I didn't fully understand why it was so difficult as I knew it was going to happen, and I was actually quite looking forward to some 'me time' during the day with plans of lying watching TV, lunch with friends etc . But when the little man walked through those gates and I went home to my empty quiet house a sadness like I have never felt in along time engulfed me. They say it takes one thing to push you over the edge - maybe that was the thing, who knows??
Anyway - I guess what I'm trying to say is that we can't always plan for how we feel, I don't have an action plan in place for every eventuality. But what I did learn is sometimes I can't change what happens - I can only change my reaction to it. For a few months there I was slipping down a hole that I didn't want to, regardless of trying to implement my wellness tools. It took me until the end of November to realise that I needed some new ones.
I also learnt that not every negative emotion needs a label. The feelings I were experiencing were a completely natural reaction to a situation which was triggering for me - but I panicked because I didn't recognise fully that a trigger had occurred. It was labelled depression as it persisted for more than 3 months and it was very unpleasant and distressing. Funnily enough - anti-depressants didn't help.
Now that I am thinking a bit more rationally I can see that the issue wasn't starting school - it was the fact that starting school signalled the end of my 'baby years' as I call them. I cannot have anymore kids due to health issues and this was the real reason that I was so upset. So - new wellness tools implemented - weekly counselling sessions to talk through my thoughts and feelings, lots of 'big boy' fun activities,lots of family time and a new project to throw myself into has really helped. There is no medication that can deal with these things for me, but I have learnt that I can deal with them when I look deep inside myself and find the answers - WRAP helps me to do that.
I have made a lot of changes to my WRAP by reflecting on my recent period of feeling unwell. Every experience really is an opportunity to learn
D x
Wednesday, 13 November 2013
A year in the life of a MacWRAP Facilitator
Taking some time to reflect on my journey with WRAP in the last 12 months. Firstly I will say that I consider myself to be extremely lucky that delivering WRAP is the bulk of my 'work'. It never feels like work because I love every moment of it. Each and every WRAP that I have facilitated has been completely unique - the people I meet are unique and they inspire me so much. They do say choose a job that you love and you will never work another day in your life - I think this is true :)
My journey with trying to embed WRAP in my local community has not been easy. But slowly with perseverance and determination its starting to happen. Here is a recap of the last 12 months activities:
7 WRAP Level 1 workshops facilitated
3 WRAP sessions facilitated as part of clinical trial via Stirling University
81 participants completed workshops
1 online WRAP Facilitation (numerous participants)
1 Twitter intro to WRAP
WRAP Blog
3 WRAP Awareness/Information Sessions Facilitated
2 Scottish Recovery Network WRAP Facilitator Network days
1 brand spanking new charity established to further embed WRAP in local community
Accepting Alliance Scotland Best Self Management Resource 2013 Award at Scottish Parliament on behalf of SRN Quality Assured WRAP Facilitators
And I'm very excited to say that in the next 12 months the following is confirmed:
4 WRAP workshops facilitated for local organisation Now Yer Talking - for anyone in the local community to access for free (for more info visit NYT website and give them a call http://www.nowyourtalking.org.uk/about.html )
12 monthly WRAP drop in sessions
2 Day WRAP workshop for University of West of Scotland 3rd year nursing students
WRAP for Carers in Lanarkshire (visit http://www.prtlcc.org.uk/ for more info or follow on twitter @Lan_carers )
Embedding WRAP in local communities in Lanarkshire via The Hope Café Lanarkshire SCIO44352
and in the pipeline................
WRAP delivery for Glasgow Caledonian University
WRAP delivery at Abertay University
Each and every WRAP that I deliver I give 100% and it's reflected clearly in the fantastic feedback. I will try and post the feedback reports. Some feedback:
“WRAP is a very powerful and useful tool for self management. I can only fully endorse that people are the experts in their own recovery. The Principles are a solid framework for effective use in recovery and maintaining wellness. The anticipatory and reflective part on crisis within this model is unique and important; reflecting the value of the individual. This tool has great potential on a professional and personal level.”
"I wish I had this years ago when my mental health was bad and I couldn’t find a way to break the circle"
"Wrap will be a positive influence in my life - it has given me new idea's and increased self awareness"
I'm excited and so very hopeful about the future with WRAP - remember keep following #MacWRAP on twitter for WRAP info here in Scotland
My journey with trying to embed WRAP in my local community has not been easy. But slowly with perseverance and determination its starting to happen. Here is a recap of the last 12 months activities:
7 WRAP Level 1 workshops facilitated
3 WRAP sessions facilitated as part of clinical trial via Stirling University
81 participants completed workshops
1 online WRAP Facilitation (numerous participants)
1 Twitter intro to WRAP
WRAP Blog
3 WRAP Awareness/Information Sessions Facilitated
2 Scottish Recovery Network WRAP Facilitator Network days
1 brand spanking new charity established to further embed WRAP in local community
Accepting Alliance Scotland Best Self Management Resource 2013 Award at Scottish Parliament on behalf of SRN Quality Assured WRAP Facilitators
And I'm very excited to say that in the next 12 months the following is confirmed:
4 WRAP workshops facilitated for local organisation Now Yer Talking - for anyone in the local community to access for free (for more info visit NYT website and give them a call http://www.nowyourtalking.org.uk/about.html )
12 monthly WRAP drop in sessions
2 Day WRAP workshop for University of West of Scotland 3rd year nursing students
WRAP for Carers in Lanarkshire (visit http://www.prtlcc.org.uk/ for more info or follow on twitter @Lan_carers )
Embedding WRAP in local communities in Lanarkshire via The Hope Café Lanarkshire SCIO44352
and in the pipeline................
WRAP delivery for Glasgow Caledonian University
WRAP delivery at Abertay University
Each and every WRAP that I deliver I give 100% and it's reflected clearly in the fantastic feedback. I will try and post the feedback reports. Some feedback:
“WRAP is a very powerful and useful tool for self management. I can only fully endorse that people are the experts in their own recovery. The Principles are a solid framework for effective use in recovery and maintaining wellness. The anticipatory and reflective part on crisis within this model is unique and important; reflecting the value of the individual. This tool has great potential on a professional and personal level.”
"I wish I had this years ago when my mental health was bad and I couldn’t find a way to break the circle"
"Wrap will be a positive influence in my life - it has given me new idea's and increased self awareness"
I'm excited and so very hopeful about the future with WRAP - remember keep following #MacWRAP on twitter for WRAP info here in Scotland
Wednesday, 30 October 2013
#Winewednesday - Depression & Personal Responsibility
Today is 'wine Wednesday'. This is the one 'school night' that I allow myself to sit down, relax and have a glass or two of wine. When I completed my first ever WRAP I had wine right up there in my wellness toolbox - I enjoy it and it makes me feel good. However - as I started to learn more about myself through living WRAP it became very obvious very quickly that wine wasn't always a wellness tool. Infact - more often than not it was an early warning sign - and could even be a trigger.
For example - how many of us have come in from a crap day at work and thought - I'll have a wee drink to relax?? Lots of us. Then before you know it you are having a 'wee drink' almost every night to 'relax'. So - I now recognise that if I am feeling that I NEED to have a drink to relax - then its not a wellness tool - its an early warning sign that I need to be dealing with whatever is causing me to feel low, anxious or worried.
It can also in itself be a trigger - especially in my experience if I am already feeling low. Feeling the way I have been lately - it is very tempting to reach for a glass - as it gives me that lovely cosy glow where the world doesn't seem to grey....................for about half an hour. So my way of taking personal responsibility has been to create 'wine Wednesday' - the day where I allow wine to act as a wellness tool - and I do not allow myself to do any work of any sort past 7.30pm.
I am glad to say that I feel as if things are on the up. I'm still not 100% - but i'm 73% which is better than 70 % for the last few weeks.
Onwards and upwards thanks to my pal WRAP :)
For example - how many of us have come in from a crap day at work and thought - I'll have a wee drink to relax?? Lots of us. Then before you know it you are having a 'wee drink' almost every night to 'relax'. So - I now recognise that if I am feeling that I NEED to have a drink to relax - then its not a wellness tool - its an early warning sign that I need to be dealing with whatever is causing me to feel low, anxious or worried.
It can also in itself be a trigger - especially in my experience if I am already feeling low. Feeling the way I have been lately - it is very tempting to reach for a glass - as it gives me that lovely cosy glow where the world doesn't seem to grey....................for about half an hour. So my way of taking personal responsibility has been to create 'wine Wednesday' - the day where I allow wine to act as a wellness tool - and I do not allow myself to do any work of any sort past 7.30pm.
I am glad to say that I feel as if things are on the up. I'm still not 100% - but i'm 73% which is better than 70 % for the last few weeks.
Onwards and upwards thanks to my pal WRAP :)
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