Firstly excuse my French, I don't swear a lot but this has made me feel so angry. Today I read on Twitter that a lady called @silentlyana had completed suicide. An tragedy in itself - but what makes it more of a tragedy is that TWICE in one day on Friday this individual asked for help and was sent away being described as 'manipulative'. Today she is dead.
As I read Amanda Stands blog http://beautyfrompainblog.com/ about this tragedy I couldn't help but feel so sad for the loss of this young ladies life. But like Amanda it was mixed with frustration, disappointment and even anger. I didn't know @silentlyana, but I know and have worked with many people who have faced similar battles. People who are reaching out for help when they are in great pain - and are turned away. People who are called 'manipulative' and 'attention seeking'. Like Amanda I also deliver various mental health training courses including Suicide Awareness/Prevention Training and these are common misconceptions that arise time and time again.
I try to use my own experience of a suicide attempt to help people understand. I explain it like this:
When you are actively suicidal, you are in pain. ALOT of pain. You very often cannot find the words to express how you feel. You are past words, past cares, sometimes even past thinking because it's too painful to think. To ask for help takes a huge amount of courage and effort.
If at this stage someone reaches out and asks for help it beggers belief that they should be turned away and called 'manipulative' Would someone presenting at A & E with a flare up of a long term physical health condition be sent away - or would the staff try and ease the pain? No - never in a million years would they be sent away, so why the hell does it happen time and time again to people who are mentally unwell??
I would love to think that this was a one off incident - but sadly experience tells me it's not. I worked in acute in-patient admission wards in Lanarkshire and on more than one occasion heard staff describing people as manipulative. I of course challenged this, but as a peer worker at that time it was pretty clear that some staff on this particular ward had no respect for my role so I feel it fell upon deaf ears.
And the work that I do within the community, time and time again young people tell me of their experiences of attending A&E with self-harm injuries and being treated with no dignity or respect. Being labelled 'attention seeking' , and in some cases even being told to apply their own dressings.
People are in pain - they are not 'attention seeking', they are seeking your attention for a reason. Please remember that.
Rest in Peace @silentlyana, I hope that the people responsible for this tragedy are held accountable
Sunday 30 March 2014
Wednesday 19 March 2014
How do we measure Hope and Compassion
For the last 6 months I have been working with a fabulous organisation in Cumbernauld called Now You're Talking. I have been working with them to deliver 4 x 2 day WRAP workshops over a 12 month period for their members, funded by Alliance Scotland
I came across NYT by chance way back in late 2012 and I liked the sound of what they were doing. So I popped over to see the project for myself one day and from the minute I went through the doors I felt welcome. On Tuesday the 18th March I joined NYT in celebrating their 5th birthday party, and also officially opening their community café - Happy Talk Café.
Over 100 people attended, a fantastic and well deserved turnout. In the crowd were staff from Department of Work and Pensions as NYT were receiving an award for being a Disability Friendly Employer. There was also a really good turnout from other local voluntary sector groups including Voluntary Action North Lanarkshire who have supported NYT since day 1. They presented NYT with a Volunteer Friendly Award in recognition of the fantastic volunteer opportunities they provide.
There was a noticeable lack of representation from the local health board and also the local social work department. It is no secret that organisations that are peer led often are misunderstood and don't receive the support they deserve. Maybe its because their achievements can't easily be measured in figures, spreadsheets and statistics.
How do you measure the hope that someone gets from being involved with a project like NYT? How do you accurately portray the levels of compassion found in organisations like these across Scotland? The only way that you can do it is to walk through the doors and see and feel for yourself the difference that these projects are making in peoples lives. Speak to people - listen to their stories and then decide if these projects are worthwhile. I am so glad that I walked through the doors back in 2012.
As I venture into this world of social enterprises and peer led projects with my new project The Hope Cafe Lanarkshire, I am extremely fortunate that so far we have received excellent support and encouragement from our local authority and health board - and I hope that this continues.
For organisations like Now You're Talking - my message is simple - don't change what you're doing, because what your doing works and is making a difference to many many lives. Keep your head held high and be proud of what you have achieved. Don't let anyone dull your sparkle :)
And to anyone who doubts the value of a peer led project - take yourself through the doors. Spare an hour to speak to people and listen to their stories - then make your judgements.
I came across NYT by chance way back in late 2012 and I liked the sound of what they were doing. So I popped over to see the project for myself one day and from the minute I went through the doors I felt welcome. On Tuesday the 18th March I joined NYT in celebrating their 5th birthday party, and also officially opening their community café - Happy Talk Café.
Over 100 people attended, a fantastic and well deserved turnout. In the crowd were staff from Department of Work and Pensions as NYT were receiving an award for being a Disability Friendly Employer. There was also a really good turnout from other local voluntary sector groups including Voluntary Action North Lanarkshire who have supported NYT since day 1. They presented NYT with a Volunteer Friendly Award in recognition of the fantastic volunteer opportunities they provide.
There was a noticeable lack of representation from the local health board and also the local social work department. It is no secret that organisations that are peer led often are misunderstood and don't receive the support they deserve. Maybe its because their achievements can't easily be measured in figures, spreadsheets and statistics.
How do you measure the hope that someone gets from being involved with a project like NYT? How do you accurately portray the levels of compassion found in organisations like these across Scotland? The only way that you can do it is to walk through the doors and see and feel for yourself the difference that these projects are making in peoples lives. Speak to people - listen to their stories and then decide if these projects are worthwhile. I am so glad that I walked through the doors back in 2012.
As I venture into this world of social enterprises and peer led projects with my new project The Hope Cafe Lanarkshire, I am extremely fortunate that so far we have received excellent support and encouragement from our local authority and health board - and I hope that this continues.
For organisations like Now You're Talking - my message is simple - don't change what you're doing, because what your doing works and is making a difference to many many lives. Keep your head held high and be proud of what you have achieved. Don't let anyone dull your sparkle :)
And to anyone who doubts the value of a peer led project - take yourself through the doors. Spare an hour to speak to people and listen to their stories - then make your judgements.
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