Firstly excuse my French, I don't swear a lot but this has made me feel so angry. Today I read on Twitter that a lady called @silentlyana had completed suicide. An tragedy in itself - but what makes it more of a tragedy is that TWICE in one day on Friday this individual asked for help and was sent away being described as 'manipulative'. Today she is dead.
As I read Amanda Stands blog http://beautyfrompainblog.com/ about this tragedy I couldn't help but feel so sad for the loss of this young ladies life. But like Amanda it was mixed with frustration, disappointment and even anger. I didn't know @silentlyana, but I know and have worked with many people who have faced similar battles. People who are reaching out for help when they are in great pain - and are turned away. People who are called 'manipulative' and 'attention seeking'. Like Amanda I also deliver various mental health training courses including Suicide Awareness/Prevention Training and these are common misconceptions that arise time and time again.
I try to use my own experience of a suicide attempt to help people understand. I explain it like this:
When you are actively suicidal, you are in pain. ALOT of pain. You very often cannot find the words to express how you feel. You are past words, past cares, sometimes even past thinking because it's too painful to think. To ask for help takes a huge amount of courage and effort.
If at this stage someone reaches out and asks for help it beggers belief that they should be turned away and called 'manipulative' Would someone presenting at A & E with a flare up of a long term physical health condition be sent away - or would the staff try and ease the pain? No - never in a million years would they be sent away, so why the hell does it happen time and time again to people who are mentally unwell??
I would love to think that this was a one off incident - but sadly experience tells me it's not. I worked in acute in-patient admission wards in Lanarkshire and on more than one occasion heard staff describing people as manipulative. I of course challenged this, but as a peer worker at that time it was pretty clear that some staff on this particular ward had no respect for my role so I feel it fell upon deaf ears.
And the work that I do within the community, time and time again young people tell me of their experiences of attending A&E with self-harm injuries and being treated with no dignity or respect. Being labelled 'attention seeking' , and in some cases even being told to apply their own dressings.
People are in pain - they are not 'attention seeking', they are seeking your attention for a reason. Please remember that.
Rest in Peace @silentlyana, I hope that the people responsible for this tragedy are held accountable
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