I have been thinking alot lately about Wellness Recovery Action Planning. It has been a big part of my life this year. I have facilitated many WRAP workshops this year and each one has been unique yet wonderful in its own way. The people I have the pleasure of meeting and sharing stories with truly inspire me beyond words. Being around WRAP so much has made me ask myself ............do I practice what I preach??
This year has taught me that I mostly do but I don't always - but hey who does?? But what I have learnt is that when I do - it works.
I have learnt a very very valuable lesson this year - your WRAP needs to change and adapt as you change and adapt. My life changed tremendously this year. Work changed, situations in my personal life changed, my health changed and home life as I have known it for 8 years changed when my youngest baby boy started school. Strangely the one that hit me the most was the latter. The other stuff I could actively do something about but there was nothing I could do to stop my baby leaving and walking through the school gates in August. I didn't fully understand why it was so difficult as I knew it was going to happen, and I was actually quite looking forward to some 'me time' during the day with plans of lying watching TV, lunch with friends etc . But when the little man walked through those gates and I went home to my empty quiet house a sadness like I have never felt in along time engulfed me. They say it takes one thing to push you over the edge - maybe that was the thing, who knows??
Anyway - I guess what I'm trying to say is that we can't always plan for how we feel, I don't have an action plan in place for every eventuality. But what I did learn is sometimes I can't change what happens - I can only change my reaction to it. For a few months there I was slipping down a hole that I didn't want to, regardless of trying to implement my wellness tools. It took me until the end of November to realise that I needed some new ones.
I also learnt that not every negative emotion needs a label. The feelings I were experiencing were a completely natural reaction to a situation which was triggering for me - but I panicked because I didn't recognise fully that a trigger had occurred. It was labelled depression as it persisted for more than 3 months and it was very unpleasant and distressing. Funnily enough - anti-depressants didn't help.
Now that I am thinking a bit more rationally I can see that the issue wasn't starting school - it was the fact that starting school signalled the end of my 'baby years' as I call them. I cannot have anymore kids due to health issues and this was the real reason that I was so upset. So - new wellness tools implemented - weekly counselling sessions to talk through my thoughts and feelings, lots of 'big boy' fun activities,lots of family time and a new project to throw myself into has really helped. There is no medication that can deal with these things for me, but I have learnt that I can deal with them when I look deep inside myself and find the answers - WRAP helps me to do that.
I have made a lot of changes to my WRAP by reflecting on my recent period of feeling unwell. Every experience really is an opportunity to learn
D x
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