Human beings are the most wonderful creation, and there is nothing I love more than spending time with other people. I'm in the line of work that I'm in because I am a people person. However - there are times in life where sadly others have the ability to really hurt - even damage us, by their words and actions.
When I deliver WRAP I spend a fair bit of time talking about self esteem - and how low self esteem can affect us, particularly in relation to being able to advocate for ourselves. I'm going to use Robbie Williams as an example here. Take a look at the words to his song Hello Sir (apologies for the sweary words!) :
Hello Sir"
Hello Sir, remember me?
I'm the man you thought I'd never be
The boy who you reduced to tears
Lad called 'thingy' for six whole years.
Yes, that's right, my name's Bob
The one who landed the pop star's job
The one you told, look don't touch
The kid who wouldn't amount to much.
Well, I'm here and you're still there
With a fake sports car and receding hair.
Dodgy Farah trousers that you think are smart
Married to the woman who teaches art.
Married to the life, married to the school
I wanna sing and dance Sir; now who's the fool?
Sing and dance, you thought I was barmy
Settle down thingy, join the army.
And who are you to tell me this?
The dream I want I'll have to miss
Sir is God, he's been given the right
To structure lives overnight.
Now I know life's true path
Tanks and guns that'll be a laugh
No, not me I'm a mega civilian
I won't lead my life riding pillion.
But thanks for the advice and I'm sure it'll do
For the negative dickheads just like you.
As for now I've a different weapon
Stage and screen is about to beckon.
And here I sit in first class
Bollocks Sir, kiss my arse...
This teacher obviously did not fill Robbie Williams head with positive thoughts and feelings, and perhaps that is reflected in some of the issues that Robbie has had over time? But..............Robbie has gone out there and he pursued his dream, he didn't let this negativity stop him.
There have been times in my life where people have hurt me, doubted me, upset me, made me angry. I have not always responded in the best way, and on many occasions I have given away hours and hours - perhaps even days/weeks of my precious brain space worrying, being angry or even trying to 'get even'.
This was one of the light bulb moments for me when I participated in WRAP (took me a bit longer to put it into practice though - hey I'm only human!)
I CANNOT control others peoples actions - but what I can control is my reaction to them.
I can choose to argue back or I can choose to walk away.
I can choose to absorb the negativity - or I can choose to let it brush off me.
I can choose to hang around people who make me feel negative - or I can choose to move on.
I have choices, and it's up to me what choice I take.
And in the words of Robbie Williams and also my best friend and very wise co-facilitator - I have decided that some people can kiss my asse :)
I care deeply about the people who matter to me, and the other people who wish to bring me down - they no longer matter :)
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